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Chemo
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Ideas,
Tips and Suggestions from other Angels about angeling a hospice/end
stage patient...
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I would suggest sending CDs or
tapes of soothing music (harp, piano, maybe Christian music if your
buddy is Christian). The sense of hearing, so they say, is the last to
leave. The music would be comforting to your buddy's caregivers as well.
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I would still keep my
correspondence the same. Our buddies usually love hearing about
the normalcy of our lives. As far as items to send, comforting
music cds are nice. We played my mom's favorite music when she
was in her last weeks. Also, lap blankets, comfy pillows, window
clings, stuffed animal to cuddle, candy for visitors or your
buddy.
Karen
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Keep writing! Describe
a beautiful sunset to her, or a flower in your garden. Go
into detail, she probably doesn't get out much and may miss
everyday things like the sounds of children playing in the
neighborhood or in a pool; a dog barking down the street;
the peaceful sound of a breeze as it sighs through the
trees. There is so much beauty in the world, describe it. If
you can't find the words, there are plenty of beautiful
poems and stories by others that you could share.
If she likes humor, don't stop now! She wants to feel
normal, just keep doing what you've been doing. I'm sure she
is glad to have someone "out there" who cares about her.
Trina
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I do private home care for the terminally ill and I can tell
you that lavender scented anything has a great calming
effect. Particularly lotions. My bag consists of lavender
lotions & different scented candles, many relaxation cd's, a
cd player, a table lamp with a very soft light (one that
will
hold a very small bulb- I have one that will hold one of
those large Christmas bulbs) and bunches of those mouth
swabs that you can moisten with water. For food, pudding and
jello seem to be the very favorite. They don' have to chew
and seem to really like the way it
feels in their mouths. The best thing to remember is that
near the end, the lights are very harsh and bright, sounds
are louder, and
not much tastes good to the patient.
Deb
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We had hospice in my home for 10 days before my
husband died. I'm sure that it is different for each buddy
but what I do know is that he was
still with us mentally until the day he died and then he was
alert and talking 20 minutes before he died. I would suggest
that you
continue sending just as you always have although the
patient no longer has much need for material possessions. My
husband got cards daily and though he could not hold them or
read them - he enjoyed having them read to him and it meant
alot to us as family taking care of him to be able to let
him know how much people loved him. He liked FUNNY ones too
not just serious. He did enjoy his favorite gospel CD's
playing.
Becky
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I was with Hospice for many years and I would say that for
you to continue to send cards, letters or small gifts as you
always did as Chemo Angel would be the best thing. Small lap
blankets, a radio (inexpensive ones in Pharmacies, for
example) socks, cap as their circulation fails, they get
colder - slippers if they can walk at all, a shawl or scarf
(for the men) for their shoulders for drafts, lollipops if
they can hold them....their mouths get dry..
Gerri
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I was a hospice volunteer for almost 4 years. You cannot
take away or even lessen the pain of 'impending loss' or
'loss'. The only thing you can do is bring a momentary
smile or tear to the patient and family. I have found the
best thing I have done is sit and put together a simple book
of inspirationals that I pull from off this 'ole' internet.
There are tons out there...poems, stories, pictures, etc.
even music you can record. Prepare the book initially with a
few and then keep adding each week, etc. This is
inexpensive. I use 50 cent folders with sleeves to protect
the pages. You can insert beautiful pictures, calling cards
with scripture verses,etc. They are great for the family to
sit and read to the patient. Harp music...if you can afford
a CD...are great for relaxation.
My main suggestion
is... 'NOTHING LEFT UNSAID'... a small book that any family
who faces death should have. It helps with stories, poems,
prayers....but most of all helps the patient and family walk
through 'all the things they want to say but don't know
how'. It's $15.95 unless you catch it on sale. You can find
it at Amazon.com. This book is simple and fits any religion
or no religion....Any stage of illness and often helps to
rid any guilt feelings, those involved are guided into
sharing their innermost thoughts....including saying
'Goodbyes'.
Jo Ann
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For people in hospice care
I thought of something my kids have done often in school for our
pastor and others on special occasions or when someone took ill.
They make a Spiritual Bouquet. You make flowers (out of
construction paper or whatever is easiest for you, sometimes
they just trace a flower on white paper and color it in- be as
creative as wish) and on each flower write down your prayer and
promise to say that
prayer for her on each given day. If your buddy is not
religious, secularize the idea by using uplifting quotes
instead. Then arrange the flowers in a bouquet, decorate with
ribbon and mail it to her. You can send them as a bouquet at the
beginning of the week or send one flower each day and let her
loved one arrange it as bouquet in her room. Hope this helps.
Connie
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I've worked with hospice for a few years now, and an amazing
gift provided by the hospice was the gift of harp music or
anything that may be relaxing. So I would recommend a CD of some
nice music. The hospice nurses say that even though they may not
appear awake- often the patient can both hear and feel.
Also, I would recommend some nice lotion in a familiar smell. My
current hospice lady loves lavender, so we rub her hands and
legs gently.
I am sure what ever you provide will be healing. Just knowing
people care so much is a precious gift.
Mary
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Maybe you could send a guest book for his visitors, family and friends to sign, and write a thought or story about him. Your buddy's family and friends would have a lovely book of memories.
Beth
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My dad really enjoyed a birdfeeder we put up outside his window during his last months. Our family appreciated food gift certificates, because no one wanted to cook, we just wanted to spend time with my dad.
Laura
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I would send pretty cards daily and let her know that you are praying
for her & that she is in your thoughts often.
Susan
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If you are able, send a note, card,
or letter on a daily basis, that way you are connecting with her each
and every day offering her strength and your thoughts.
Aly
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If your buddy has requested no gifts and is a spiritual person, why not send your prayers as gifts. Write them down and mail one to her several times a week. Write out inspirational passages from her religions holy book and send them to her.
Sue
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Having been through the hospice
experience with my parents, both of whom I've lost to cancer, I can say
that at a time like this, your prayers for her strength and comfort will
mean more to her than anything. Let her know as often as possible that
you are praying for her. Perhaps write down prayers from your heart and
send them to her. Comforting poems might also be a nice thing to
include with your good thoughts
and prayers. Keep telling her about your days...even if they seem boring
to you, they will seem like an adventure to someone who is no longer
able to get out and about. All of these things will ease her pain and
bring joy to her heart.
Candy
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Keep sending those cards because I
would sit and read my friend the letters and the cards that came for her
and sit and show her the gifts, and she would smile. When she was too
sick to smile I would still read those letters and show her those gifts
and I would take comfort in someone caring so much for her. Those cards
and caring thoughts helped me so much as a caregiver! You would be
surprised how hearing about your daily events just takes someone away
for a moment to remember there is life other than cancer...
Michelle
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My grandpa died at home with hospice. If you send cards, the family or nurses can read them to him. It may make him feel peaceful just to know the cards are rolling in. It did wonders for my grandpa, but also helped my grandma.
Cyndi
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Send stuff like relaxation tapes/CDs if you know that someone will play music for him. I even have a sound machine type thing, where you can play all different sounds like an ocean, city noises, birds singing, etc. Or just really neat things for him to read if he is able, or if not, for people to read to him.
Linda
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Although your patient has entered hospice, nothing has really changed in
your angeling. It is true that your patient is getting sicker, and you
may
want to consider that with the gifts your send. But, in general, all the
things that your angel enjoyed before, will probably be the same things
that bring a smile now.
Holly
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When my mother-in-law went under
hospice care in the home, two things she loved and others always
commented on.
**One was her pillowcases-if you sew there are so many pretty prints out
there and inexpensive too. I do machine embroiderery and it
looks great on the pillowcases.
**Also nightgowns. I found nightgowns at Walmart. I would bring them
home and cut them down the back. I finished the edges where I
cut then added ribbon to the top so we could tie it for her. No one knew
the difference and the hospice nurses loved the idea.
Wanda
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I lost my husband to cancer, so
here are some ideas that made a difference to not only him, but to me
and our family:
* very restful, relaxing beautiful music - I had a Yanni cd playing
the day my husband died and the hospice nurse said the music was so
beautiful and so perfect. I still have that cd.
* candles...no scent, as perfume smells may make them sick...but
something pretty in a little light-diffusing candle holder.
* Satin pillow case
* a soft, soft hand towel or wash cloth...buy as expensive as you
can afford... watch for sales...
* soothing lotions...lavender, vanilla, or unscented... don't
forget that their skin gets so dry.
* lip balms
* a soft throw...hand made or bought...soft colors.. Maize, shades of
blue...
* If you know that the patient loves a particular animal, a soft
stuffed animal is always nice. Nice for the patient, as well as for the
family.
* a journal for people to write in when they are in waiting
rooms...this works for some people, while others are not interested in
this at all.
Your gifts are not just important
to your patient, but will be comforting to the family, also. I
know that friends and family sent cards when my husband was too sick to
care, but I cared and I was so touched. I would put those cards up in
his room...he may or may not have known, but I knew and found such
comfort.
Shari
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My first patient was a stage IV
patient. I was her ChemoAngel for 5 months. She went into Hospice Care
and a few weeks later she passed
away. It was very difficult for me when she passed. But I knew that I
had made her last several months brighter by being her angel.
My suggestions:
1. Read the section on the ChemoAngels website about how to angel an
end-stage patient. It is most helpful.
2. Read about the kind of cancer your patient has. They have that
information as well on the ChemoAngels website, too.
3. If your patient is a Christian, you could send a short encouragement
book that he could either read a page or two a day OR
have someone read it to him when he is feeling poorly. They always have
a good selection at any Christian bookstore.
4. A good music CD of his favorite music. If he is in Hospice
Care, calming sounds would be a nice choice for that situation.
Perhaps nature sounds or harp music. That would be soothing.
5. I sent my female patient a fresh soft scented lotion that I was later
told she just loved and used every day.
6. A nice cheerful throw/blanket.
7. Lots of cards and letters are always good!
8. Send something to the family regularly to lift their spirits.
Liela
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My Grandma was in hospice. My mom got her a nice blanket for her bed as
the bedding seemed old. She had the TV on for
noise but some serene music might be nice. A note to her family would
also be comforting.
Sandy
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I am currently working as a student
social worker at Hospice and I know that a lot of my patients enjoy
books on tape because they
are unable to concentrate enough to read themselves. Also, just keep on
writing! Just knowing someone is out there who cares is
often enough to keep a smile on their face, especially if they don't
have a lot of family/friends around everyday.
Ingrid
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Being an Angel as well as a hospice
nurse, some things that might be appreciated are lip moisturizers,
lotion (moisturizing), some soft uplifting
music, a comfy blanket.
Kimberly
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DON'T CHANGE A THING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING....your patient will know
right away and sense the sadness you feel ....Keep up your great
Angeling!
Susan
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My former buddy loved cards with bright pictures on them to hang on her
walls, I even cut bright pictures; flowers and gardens; out of
magazines, and sent them to her also.
Susan
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I felt inclined to also say
something about Hospice HOME Care. Hospice care does not mean that a
person will pass on tomorrow - it just means that they have chosen to
discontinue treatments or it has been deemed that the condition they are
diagnosed with cannot be cured no matter what drugs can be given. My
husband chose to have no more treatments in January but he did not die
until June. The treatments were making him so sick that he chose to just
enjoy quality life for what he had left. My suggestion to you would to
be continue to Angel your buddy
just as you always have, and KNOW that each and every card will be read
to your buddy - if they are no longer able.
Becky
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Send some CDs. Something
comforting. There is a lot of great music out there. Try Jim Brickman,
classical. What about the 3 tenors? Or a warm blanket. A lap blanket.
That is VERY COMFORTING!!!!!!
Connie
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I loved being a ChemoAngel to my patient. Her chemo stopped working and
later she went into Hospice care. I continued to send
weekly gifts to her (fun socks to keep her feet warm, a pretty throw
blanket, nice body lotion with a light fresh scent, inspirational
things to read or to have someone read to her, a soothing music CD, lots
of cards and letters, etc. I also sent small gifts to her
children/family as I figured that they needed love and support too. A
gift card for the family to enjoy a nice take out dinner at home is a
practical and helpful gift idea too. With taking care of their loved
one, the last thing they may have the time or energy for is to cook
dinner.
Liela
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If your buddy is Christian, I would
suggest tapes or CD's of a religious nature with encouraging biblical
truths of the promise of "life to
come." Soft and beautiful music from her youth for memories, a beautiful
picture frame to put beside her bed for loved ones photos. She might
enjoy any uplifting poems and stories either in books (If she is able to
read) or tapes or CDs. There is a series of books I found for my husband
when he was terminally ill with cancer, Called (I think) Holy Humor. He
really enjoyed reading them and laughed often over the stories. Other
things might include a pretty pillow to hug, snugly slipper socks and
maybe a favorite snack to nibble on. My Husband didn't eat "meals" at
this stage but would nibble on snacks I left by his bedside.
Sharon
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I volunteered in hospice for awhile. Anything to pass the time and cheer
them up is good- their favorite candy, a
good book or movie to watch, a book of puzzles, etc. An extra comfy
nighty or soft pair of slippers is nice, too. One thing that I think is
important is preserving memories for family. Often, you can find books
or journals that enable people to write special memories or events for
their descendants, such as their feelings, last words, and family
history information. (births, deaths, weddings, etc.) They may really
enjoy writing this memoir to their family, and the families always
appreciate such a loving gift, as well.
Angel
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A nice picture frame that she could put a family photo in would be a
pleasant thing for her to have near her. A silk flower arrangement would
be nice, too. If you are creative, JoAnn's had some silk flowers on
sale, so you might check that out.
Andrea
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How about finding her a pretty pillow case and include a note that you
want her to have restful thoughts. Or a nice fluffy bath towel for her
to enjoy after her bath. Some nice lotions for her elbows and heels
would be good if she is confined to bed. You could buy a preprinted
panel of fleece to send her for a lap robe, check at fabric stores. A
box of herbal teas. A bottle of honey and a nice teaspoon and mug would
be nice in different gifts. A small bell for her bedside if she needs to
call for help would be good too.
Angel
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I was blessed to be able to take leave from work and go and stay with my
Mom at home during her last couple months so she didn't have to actually
enter a Hospice - they just visited her at home - but I can tell you
that my mother really looked forward to the mail each day and hearing
from her card angel and chemo angel - the gift was not important it was
just the fact that two wonderful people she had never met cared about
her and loved her enough to take time to share their lives with her -
she saved every card and letter - she really grew to love them like
family and the joy their letters brought into her life was the most
important thing and also what inspired me to become a part of this
wonderful
organization - so I would encourage you to just keep sending the cards
and letters expressing your love and caring - I believe it's that
special human touch that matters most.
Lynn
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Perhaps your buddy entering hospice
would enjoy books on tape to listen to. It might be nice for her to have
some pampering her last days - a manicure set and some nice polishes?
Maybe a beautiful frame that she could keep a photo of her family in by
her bedside. You could send a nice plant, one that a member of her
family could plant in their garden when she is no longer with them.
Liza
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If your buddy believes in God, you could send her a really nice Bible.
That is what I bought my mom in her last days and she LOVED it. It
brought her great comfort and encouragement. You could also send poems
of encouragement and lots of love. You could send a phone card. Someone
in her situation might find talking to friends and family helps too.
Gladys
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I am an RN who has worked in critical care and trauma for a number of
years. I hope I have something to help you.
The thing to remember is that life is precious beyond measure, and it
remains precious even outside of time and space. It is still worth
celebrating, and every day is a victory. Life becomes even more
precious when we fight time to celebrate it. Every happy day, every
peaceful moment, becomes more valuable, like finding one precious
diamond in a stack of coal. It shines. So do what you have always done.
You offer peace and comfort and celebrations, because life goes on.
Focus on the joy, on the living.
Gina
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You can find scripture cards or
prayer cards at Christian bookstores that make a nice enclosure to a
card. It could be something the parent could hold and meditate on as
they sit with the child.
Melissa
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A mobile or wind chimes (even the breeze of someone walking could start them). A strange but comforting gift - lifelike battery-powered puppies & kittens that "breathed" - they actually looked like sleeping real pets.
Pat
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-Story books on tape or CD
would be a good idea for a young buddy who is only alert for short
periods of time. You can find book/tape combos for around $6 at most
stores. I've even found them at dollar stores.
-Another nice idea would be soothing children's music. Collin Raye
(the country singer) has a wonderful CD for kids called "Counting
Sheep". My son is almost 10 and he still listens to it at bedtime.
-How about small toys that your buddy can easily hold in his hand?
Look for things with textures like soft, squishy, bumpy,
stretchy...things that are stimulating but don't take much effort to
play with.
This is also a good time to show extra support for your buddy's
family. Prepackaged meals (like Campbell's Supper Bakes) or gift
cards for fast food or pizza would be welcomed. When my dad was
under hospice care, the last thing I wanted to think about was what
to cook for dinner.
Candy
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How about some colorful
window decorations the peel and stick kind, or a colorful swirl
mobile thingy or a suncatcher. Something bright and
shiny that might lift his spirits while he is awake. You could
also make up silly short stories to put into your cards and
letters. Use
his name and remake a classic like the three little pigs and let
his house be the one that can't be blown down, etc. My boys LOVE
me to
tell storied like that. Also how about a CD or tape with
soothing music? I know it must be very hard for you to know that
he is at such
a difficult time and to want to send the right things, but
remember that the most important thing is that they can read
your crads and
letters to him and that probably means more than anything else
ever could. Good Luck and God Bless!
Angel Barbara
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A soft stuffed animal for
him to HUG.
Some books on tape/CD so he can listen to them.
Music CD's...of his favorite type of music.
An animated movie DVD which he could watch in segments when he
is awake.
Sharon
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My buddy is a 5 year old
boy and they were recently told that there is no cure for his
cancer. I've sent him an Ikea "hug" pillow (this is a big red
pillow with arms/hands) and a poem about hugs. I've sent some
American Idol DVDS, play doh and have a Mooshi pillow & fleece
blanket to send next week. I've sent small treats for his little
brother as well as his mom. (Glade makes a candle called "Angel
Whispers"...in the grocery store for about $3)
Ann
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Don't forget to include the siblings during this time. They are really suffering in their own way watching the decline of their brother or sister.
Beth
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Stories on tape are great.
The dollar tree has multiple kids books on tape for a buck a
piece.
Angel
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Books on tape! Or how
about recording a story on a tape yourself and sending him the
book. Children are very receptive to voices and I'm
sure a child would love hearing your voice.
Robin
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